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SAMPLE WORK - Comments

Example: CFO Position - Resume Editing - Highlights of our Comments on his Resume

(Only select key points are highlighted here - additional comments and work was provided to the client)

Problem areas:
- The old resume highlights the place of employment more than the job titles. Stressing the employer makes most sense a recent graduate where the firm is very well known and respected and presents an excellent training program but
..makes less sense for a seasoned professional in which case we feel that the titles sell you more than the name of the firm
- Objective statement includes irrelevant info (i.e. the part about wanting a progressive organization is always assumed - it
..would be strange indeed for someone to not want to apply their skills and want to work at a firm that was not progressive).
..Relevant points to include in the objective statment would be things such as about what sort of industry you want to work (if you are particular about this point), and which are the top skills you wish to employ there (i.e. 'a strategic role' says
..more & is more specific than a vague and general statement as 'apply my skills' )
- The 2nd page doesn't have your contact info in case it gets separated from the first
- The resume has overly wide margins making it run onto 3 pages (which is considered in most cases as too long)
- Verb tense is inconsistent in some spots. Descriptions for past positions should be in past not present tense
- Resume structure is in the form of long paragraphs. This makes it hard for a recruiter to quickly skim over your resume
..and pick out relevant points.
- The resume is task oriented rather than acheivement oriented. It lists your duties but does not describe the results of
..your actions. Demonstrating a record of superior performance markets and positions you better. Most resumes recruiters
..see are task oriented and do not stand out from each other.
.. . .

- We put the job title before the employer and bolded this
- We included more highlighting, italics, etc to make separate sections more distinct
- We deleted irrelevant info from the objective statement and made it more focused
- We got rid of the Objective Statement and accentuated your skills with use of bulleted key word columns the Profile section.
- We added your name, phone number and 'page 2 of 2' to the top of the 2nd page
- We condensed the resume onto 2 pages by improving the margins, spacing, and layout
- We made the verb tenses consistent
- We broke up the long paragraphs into bullet points
- Greater quantification of results now gives a stronger picture of achievements.
.. . .

Other points to consider:
- If you plan to finish the MBA, you may want to insert the expected completion date


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